I had been so looking forward to the Australia Day holiday today. I am undeniably a proud Aussie and I’m not afraid to admit it!! I’ve had a productive morning with a 45 minute walk to the gym, weight training, then a cardio circuit for 30 minutes and then 45 minute walk home. Then spent the rest of the day hanging with one of my besties (who also happens to be my flatmate) watching DVD’s.
Training has been going well and I’ve settled into the new program. I’m up to week three now and feeling quite strong, although I went to Bikram practice Sunday night and found myself very tired and having difficulty catching my breath. I know it was due to tiredness from the 60 minute run I did in the morning in the heat. I could have given Bikram a miss, but I am really beginning to love my practice. I felt it was better to go and do what I can rather than not do it at all! I had planned on doing a class today, but they only have morning classes on and my gym is only open until midday. Resistance has to take precedence here.
I spent Saturday at mum’s place all by myself. It was nice to just wander around and look and touch things, breathing in the scent of her on her clothes and running my hands over the surfaces where her hands had been. I didn’t take anything, it was enough to just pick everything up, touch it and put it back down. It’s funny what makes things hit home. I was sitting in her walk-in-robe surrounded by her things when the sight of her shoes set me off. Just picturing her feet in them and memories of where she wore them had me bawling like a baby, knowing that she wouldn’t be wearing them again. I could even picture her short wide feet so clearly. It seems as though I am missing her more each day at the moment and have a feeling it’s going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better. I spent quite some time out scooping out the pool, which was something I did for her when I lived there. It felt comforting doing that as it still felt like I was doing something for her, and I felt so close to her out by the pool area that she loved so much.
As for this weekend, I triple-booked myself for this Saturday night. I said yes to the invites as they rolled in, only to come to a sudden realisation on Saturday that I had booked in three things on the one night and there isn’t three of me to go around! So I’ve spent the day apologising to a couple of the people involved for my mess up. Luckily nobody is offended and quite OK with me not being able to make it, but I’m not sure that I shouldn’t be offended at that… LOL!! I am really looking forward to seeing sis, BIL and the kiddies, I haven’t seen them for about a month. Can’t wait for cuddles and especially the way my little niece does a skippy-skip step when she’s sees me as she runs up for cuddles. I also cannot wait to see how excited my little nephew is that he starts school next week and to look at all the cool school stuff he has, including his cute little uniform. Aww… I’m getting all misty at the fact he is off to school already!!
Charu was so cute last night when she came in to curl up on my bed in the middle of the night. I had to restrain myself from patting her though as she gets into these really smoochie moods and if you start patting and scratching her she goes insanely smoochie, where she is practically beside herself and starts licking your neck, writhing in ecstasy and purring like crazy. She really doesn’t quite know what to do with herself!! Cute when you’re wide awake, not so cute when you’re woken up in the middle of the night by a little furry bundle scrabbling up your sheets onto your bed. So by resisting the urge to pat the little furball she settled into sleep quite quickly. I did however end up turning my back to her as I kept getting little furry legs, tail and soft warm paws in my face… LOL!!
Anyway people, time for me to get off the computer and get my meals ready for tomorrow. Have a great night… train hard and eat well!!
Love Rae xxx
“There is little difference in people but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.” ~W. Clement Stone
10 Users Responded In This Article
You WILL be fine in the long run Rae, you just need to keep believing in that. It is obviously going to take time to get over things that have happened, but I don’t think it’s impossible.
Take care, best wishes and BIG HUGS.
.
Matt
LOL your kittens sound adorable too… I find my new kitten does the same thing is constantly climbing on my face and waking me up in the middle of the night. I put her out and shut the door sometime during the nght, but she still managed to get back in as it is a sliding door and off the track so think she pushed her way in. Determined little thing
So much fun though during waking hours
Nothing any of us can say will help you during this time but just know that we’re all thinking of you and are here for you, especially me. My heart breaks for your Rae. xxx
Rae,
The way you describe your feelings is so eloquent and touching. I was able to picture you slowly walking along feeling your mother’s essence all around. I used to do the same when we were clearing out my mothers apartment after she passed. I have no doubt your mom is looking down on you with lots of love in her heart. Charu sounds like a little furry godsend for you, furry warm feet and all. Reminds me of my 3 year old, Julia. She’s quite the bed hog and loves to burrow her head into my back as I sleep. I love it though, so much so that I have a hard time falling asleep without her. Much to my husbands dismay I may add!! LOL!!
Stay well..
xx
Stephanie
Hi Sam, unfortunately no, I don’t have any of my routines up on the web. If I get a chance to do mine at one of this year’s shows I will approach the videographer about the possibility of him cutting a routine out of the show DVD and sending it to me so I can. I’ll see what I can do!!
Hi Matt, no it’s not impossible as I’ve found out after going through it with Dad all those years ago. It just takes a long time and some weeks are more difficult when they are the weeks where you miss them more. Thanks for your lovely comment xxx
Oh they are so determined when they want cuddles Kristy!! I put them out the other night when they were taking turns attacking my feet and legs. I mean jeez… that was the whole reason we got two… so that they could go to town on each other and leave our legs alone… LOL!! Good luck with moving into your new cottage xxx
I know Lia… as we both know, just comments like yours get us through the tough times xxx
Thanks Stephanie. It’s quite reassuring to be surrounded by where they have been isn’t it? Thinking that her and dad are both looking down on me brings me so much reassurance, as I know it must also do with you and your mum. Your daughter Julia sounds like my 4 year nephew. Always wants to bunk in with me when I stay over and is always grabbing my arm and putting it around him, then complaining he can’t sleep because he’s “squished”, but is the one pulling my arm over him and cuddling right into me!! I don’t have the heart to kick him out, and you are so right. It is just the most amazing feeling to have a little person like them love us so much! Just remind your hubby that there will come a day when she won’t want to bunk in with you, but until that time you’re going to milk it for all it’s worth!! xxx
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Rae, do you have any of your routines on the web so that we can have a look at them … i would love to see what you did with your music!!
Sam